when will i die, why am i just waiting for it as if its already happened and im just trying to except it. wasting my life sitting around like someone or something is going to come and save me, Why... i just need to figure myself out but i feel like im running away from it all. my mind is falling apart and i feel the cords snapping. I need to find peace in my mind but its all too loud. i dont know if it will ever go away... or if ill ever find someone who cares. i dont think ill ever find that i might as well have already given up..
this pain wont stop soaking into my brain feels like my wires are falling out like im breaking, got no where left to run. trapped here. issolated. just stuck with no where left in my mind to look nowhere in my mind to hide. its just all static white noise drowning out any thoughts while i look mindlessly into the void of my soul.. but nothing i recognize is ever there, just muted thoughts and memories of a time gone by. just wishing i could be there one more time...
I fucking hate it here (Terra) this plantets been a ride but nothing gets better and nothing ever seems to help the pain in my head. its like am stuck in a fake world forced to watch it all happen but can never stop, and fuck do i need a break. from thinking, from existing, from it all. this world has so much to offer but everyone holds everone back with paper money paper rules living a lie they built so they could live a-top it. i dont want to play there games, i dont want to play there monopoly game, i just want to live a life free from all the fakeness of the world is that too much to ask?
Just need comfort in a world so free from it. Trust, in a world built apon liers. Time, in a world were they can buy that from you... but ill never actully have that will i, something so simple but so imposable to find. its all so sad to me. i feel like im worried about everything while people live there lives in bliss unaware of the pain of the people of the world..where am i in all this.. who am i meant to be....
